A beagle-corgi scholar of the highest order. Author of 14 books (3 chewed), recipient of the Golden Tennis Ball, and certified Very Good Boy by an independent panel of grandmothers.
An introduction to semiotics through basic commands. Final exam: shake.
Is it truly forbidden if nobody is home? A Socratic dialogue.
The ball is both thrown and not thrown until you fake the throw.
Advanced seminar. Every sound is the doorbell. Discuss loudly.
“A walk is not a journey from A to B. It is four hundred smells, each one important.”
— Prof. Waffles, Commencement Address, 2026
“Ate my homework, then gave me an A for honesty.”
— Priya, sophomore“Fell asleep during his own lecture. Most relatable professor on campus.”
— Marcus, junior“Office hours are just him leaning on you. 10/10.”
— Jo, grad student“Minus one star, he barked at the mail carrier during my thesis defense.”
— Dr. Lee, alumniMondays in the sunbeam by the library window. Fridays at the dog park (bring a ball, receive feedback). Emails are answered by pawing at the keyboard: “jjjjjjjjjjj;;;;”.